


Life After Life

by Insatiable_Fox



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Death, Death, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 03:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18241670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insatiable_Fox/pseuds/Insatiable_Fox
Summary: I won’t give up on you. This is not our denouement.There is only so much grief a person can take before they reach breaking point.





	Life After Life

**Author's Note:**

> Written one night after binging MCD fics and crying my eyes out.  
> Somehow, Life After Life has not only ended up being the saddest piece I've ever written, but also the fluffiest, and most... romantic(?)  
> Enjoy, twisted people, who like ripping their hearts apart with words. I'm one of you; I understand.

 

* * *

 

 

Draco.

 

Nine days have passed since you left. Or so I’m told, anyway. Time has a way of distorting, within the confines of these four walls. I’ve forgotten how to function without you here to anchor me, even putting one foot in front of the other requires a will I’m not sure I possess anymore. I don’t know what to do.

 

I'm sorry. Please come back.

 

Harry

 

+++++++++++

 

Draco.

 

I came home today. St Mungo's kept me in longer than necessary, and after, Hermione insisted I stay with them for a few weeks. You know how she gets; easier to say yes. Rose asked for you, something about the two of you being halfway through a book? Even if you’re angry at me, you should go read to her.

 

It was fine. But I'm back now. This is where I’ll wait, despite the pain. Every footstep on the landing is yours, every owl bears your letter, every gust of wind is you sighing my name. It hurts, but I know it won’t be for long. I hope.

 

You left all your things, even the letters from when we were children. It seems like another lifetime ago we wrote those; Hogwarts, Voldemort. Green ink smudged over your hands, and wonder in your eyes. You saved me - but you already know that, don’t you?

 

The house is too quiet in your absence, and I keep making tea for two. I miss you.

 

Harry.

 

+++++++++++

 

Draco.

 

I don't know why you're doing this to us, what you hope to achieve by ruining me. I thought we were partners? I thought that when you stood in front of me, told me that this was it - I was stuck with you forever - before slipping the ring onto my finger, you meant it? We defied the world to be together; I didn’t think we had a conclusion.

 

But your side of the bed is still empty, and you still haven't shown up for work, and no one is there to turn to in the murky dark when the terrors of past threaten, too close to the surface. The Fiendfyre is back, like the dreams after the war. Except now, Draco, I’m forced to watch you battle it - as a man, not a boy - and lose.

 

This new before and after grows with every tick of your parent’s clock on our wall, and all I can think about is my response to your promised forever. I meant what I said: I'd follow you anywhere; life, after life, after life.

 

Harry.

 

+++++++++++

 

Draco.

 

If you won't come to me, will you let me come to you?

 

Harry.

 

+++++++++++

 

Draco.

 

Today has been one of the worse since you left. This facade of sanity is hard to maintain, and I don’t know why I persist.

 

Please don't be alarmed when you see me. I'm sure the wounds would have healed by then, although Pansy seems to think they’ll linger. For now, they help keep the image of you clear; your memory tethers me until the time where reality can.

  


I survived the Dark Lord; I’m sure you’ll find sweet irony in the fact your absence is harder to weather.

 

Harry.

 

+++++++++++

 

Draco.

 

Sorry so much time has passed. I ended up in St Mungo's again, and they wouldn't let me write. In the end, I had to lie so they'd let me leave. Not the best thing I’ve ever done. But certainly far from the worse; not that I need remind you.

 

Your mum must have been by and taken some of your belongings. That seems like a bit much, doesn't it? I said I'd take care of them until you were home, didn't I?

 

She missed a fair amount. I'm wearing one of your sweaters as I write, the soft brown one. Your first, acceptance into the family. I’m choosing to believe it was left by accident. You say Molly’s a second mother to you; don’t make me tell her she’s lost another son.

 

It covers the new scars. I know you've always been self-conscious of your arm, despite what you insist otherwise. Maybe now, some of that discomfort will be relieved. You once told me you loved my ones; the flaws which mar my body your reminder of struggles completed and overcome. I hope you still feel that way. I've acquired a fair few more.

 

I won’t give up on you. This is not our denouement.

 

Harry.

 

+++++++++++

 

Draco.

 

You made me feel whole. So broken I was, scarred and marked, unknowing of what normality meant - unprepared for a post-war existence. It was you who brought meaning back into my life, taught me how to breathe when the crowds jostled closer, pulled me back from the oblivion I so perilously craved. You, who sat beside me, night, after night; your fingers in my hair the only thing keeping me sane.

 

Have you forgotten that?

 

Once, you confided how I’d saved you, too. Gave you a life you’d thought impossible. I told you then, and I’ll tell you now: you’re more than capable of defying fate on your own.

 

You made me feel loved. I'd never understood, before, the power those three words held. I had thought myself beyond hope; you showed me I’d simply been waiting for you.

 

Your hand on my knee. The brush of fingers against my back. Breath on my neck, arm around my waist, your warmth keeping me safe whilst we slept. Soft words and even softer lips; your voice. I didn't realise that loving you encompassed so much.

 

Missing you consumes even more. It's not getting better, Draco. I don't think it ever will.

 

Harry.

 

+++++++++++

 

Draco.

 

It will be one year tomorrow.

 

It’s taken this long for me to accept what I preached to you all along: I can’t do this without you.

 

Harry.

 

+++++++++++

 

Draco.

 

I told you at our wedding that I'd follow you anywhere.

 

You can't promise me forever, then leave after only seven. I know it wasn't your choice, but this is mine.

 

You saved four children before you went. I only want to save myself. This life is over for me; I’m ready for our next one.

 

It was painless the first time it happened, forgive me for wondering if the second will be the same. At the heart of it all, I'm selfish, Draco; this is the only guarantee I’ll get what I need.

 

You.

 

I’m in our bed. On our sheets, safe in our home we built together. If I close my eyes, I can convince myself you’re beside me.

 

I won’t need to play pretend much longer.

 

I love you. I’ll see you soon.

 

Harry.


End file.
